How do I teach my child how to read?

This is a common question I get from mother’s who are thinking about homeschooling and here’s what I tell them. 

My eldest son did not learn to read until he was nearly 8. He was my first child, my first time homeschooling and I was already in a state of fear, overwhelm and I felt judgment for choosing to homeschool every day (even from strangers). The fact that he couldn’t read at 7 years olf reflected back at me my worst fears about my incapability to teach and my disastrous choice to homeschool (this is exactly why I go on and on about deschooling). 

And then one day it clicked for him. Since then there hasn’t been a day that I have seen him without a book in his hand. He has books all over the lounge room, kitchen, bedroom, garage and inside the car. 

Between the time I pulled him out of school at 6 and when he learned at 7.5 I was consumed with trying to teach him, turning reading into a chore, at times shaming him for not concentrating (which I truly regret). All my focus was on this challenge. And while I was focused on him, my daughter Violet learnt how to read by herself at age 4. I remember hearing her read out of a book, knowing that there was no way she had memorized it and sitting there in shock.

What I have realized, after many avoidable mistakes if I had deschooled properly, is that you can’t teach a five year old how to read just because they’re five years old unless they’re developmentally ready and are showing interest in reading. You didn’t need to teach your baby to walk and talk by instructing them, you provided them with an enriching environment and then they learnt when they were ready.

And even when they are ready, you shouldn’t need to teach them by using mandatory, structured lessons because doing this will only create resentment towards you…and worse, towards reading! Reading becomes a job and you become the authoritarian boss that is forcing them to do it.

What you could aim for is to keep the connection between you and your child while helping to ignite within them a passion for stories. And you don’t even have to wait until they reach an arbitrary age decided by your State. You can start from the moment they are born – or even when they are still in your belly by doing the following:

1. Before your child can concentrate on picture books or even understand your words they are soothed by your voice. Sing them your favourite songs. Tell them your favourite stories. Talk to them about your childhood memories and talk to them straight from your own imagination.
2. Read to them and take regular trips to the library. There were times when my kids would want me to read the same book over and over again every day for months. And other times we would read a different book every day.
3. Audiobooks. My children used to love listening to audiobooks when they would be drawing or even to wind down before going to sleep. Audiobooks are great when you are too tired to read to them or busy doing something else.
4. Read for your own growth and evolution. Talk to them about what you are reading if they ask (unless you are reading Stephen King).
5. Surround your living spaces with books from toddler level to adult and everything in between. Replace the focal point of your lounge room with a bookshelf instead of a TV!

The most beautiful thing you can do to encourage reading is to role-model it. Just like everything in parenting, the best way to teach your children how to read is by living by example, following your own values and checking your own internal mindset so that you are interacting with your children from a regulated place and following their lead.