I am a mum of three young children who believes she can have it all. What a release to actually claim that statement. How socially unacceptable for me to admit it. Aren’t mothers supposed to be in an inherent deficit in every aspect of their lives – with a healthy sprinkling of guilt in there also?
I believe that your heart desires exactly what is meant for you. And if you are able to listen to your inner voice then you can create so much clarity around what it is you desire for your life. If you are being authentic to yourself you will develop a close relationship with all that you want and need in your life for yourself AND will help you create stronger relationships with your children.
A major step in this process requires you to do some deep inner work to drop the clutter that you do not need. All the clutter that does not serve you anymore. All the clutter that does not feel aligned with what you desire in your life moving forward. It all starts with listening to your inner voice, aligning with your true self and the person you want to be and then shedding all the clutter that you don’t need.
You see, from the time of childhood we create, and we carry with us, emotions, thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that show up and serve us at various in our lives. The patterns and strategies that we form, and that we always fall back on, protect us, make us feel secure and worthy and and comfort us in times of need. This is the clutter in our mind, emotional clutter, clutter in our bodies, clutter in our homes. We even willingly invite and take on other peoples clutter!
To begin to drop the clutter in your life you need to know how to say no. And this is where it gets tricky. Especially for women who are conditioned from childhood to be good girls who say yes. But in order to say yes to yourself and all of your desires and yes to happiness and all that you want for your life you really need to be able to say no to all the clutter taking up time, energy, money and space.
This requires conscious choices. Every single decision you make requires a conscious effort! Yes or no to that exercise class? Yes or no to that comfort food? Yes or no to that late night? Yes or no to that extra hour of social media once the kids go to bed? Yes or no to that difficult conversation? Yes or no to more material stuff? Yes or no to conflict? Yes or no to connection? Yes or no to excuses? Yes or no to a feeling of abundance? Yes or no to a feeling of scarcity?
Which thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors are you choosing to saying yes to? Which are you saying no to? Which boundaries are you creating? If it needs to be done, consciously decide to do it. If it doesn’t feel right, let it go. Make a choice about how you are showing up in your life?
Identify all the clutter that you are harboring that does not serve you anymore. Understand that you carry with you strategies and patterns that you need to change. Observe the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that lead to those patterns. Understand where in your life they have manifested from. Begin to deconstruct each of them and be grateful for the lessons, benefits and protection they provided for you through times of need. And then you can change them.
Don’t get caught up in the excuses and stories that you have been conditioned to believe as true. They are cultural and social illusions. You have so much power over your life experience and yes, you really get to have everything you want – even as a mother.
Do it with love, Leila A